Don’t Be What People Say You Are
It was a beautiful late afternoon. My friends and I were sitting outside the open veranda talking about our new lives when we noticed grandma Lalla and Fanta walking toward us.
“Are they coming here, someone whispered?”
“Looks like it…”
Total silence. Then we all said together:
“Good afternoon, Grandma Fanta and Lalla, how are you?”
“Good afternoon young people, we are good thank you. What are you doing?”
“Just talking one of us replied. You two need something?”
“No, Grandma Fanta answered. Tonight, we would like to see you all after dinner.”
“All of us?”
“Yes, all of you,” Lalla replied.
“What’s going on?”
“You’ll find out tonight.”
“Is it something we did?”
“You like asking questions, don’t you, Lalla said? You will find out when you get there.”
“See you all tonight.”
Grandma Fanta and Lalla walked away leaving us puzzled, and a little worried.
“It cannot be that bad, they were laughing as they walked away.”
Soon after, we all left the veranda. No one wanted to talk anymore.
That night, after dinner, we the people of the same age-group who had been summoned to a meeting rushed to the open veranda. The elders hadn’t arrived yet.
“Do you know what they want to talk to us about, someone asked?”
“No.”
We sat in a semicircle. We were thinking hard trying to remember our most recent words and actions. Nothing came to mind. To add to the suspense, our elders took their time to join us. They deliberately walked slowly to their seats while talking and laughing amongst themselves. Finally, Grandpa Umar cleared his throat. Once again, he had been chosen by the elders to be their spokesperson. At least he was one of our favorite storytellers, and he was never too harsh.
“I know you are wandering why we have asked you to come here tonight. It’s because for the past few months we have been listening to some of your conversations, and more and more, we are hearing things we don’t agree with. So, we want to tell you so you can think about it.”
“What is he talking about?”
“Hush, don’t make trouble for the rest of us.”
“I’m not making any trouble, I just asked…”
“Hush. Listen, the elders are not talking.”
While some in our group were whispering trying to figure out what Grandpa Umar was talking about, the elder stopped talking. We knew better than to interrupt and ask questions while they were speaking. When silence became total again, Grandpa Umar said:
“We called you tonight, because all of you have recently started working. Some of you are working in offices putting words down on paper, while others are working with their hands making, and repairing things.
“And this is all good. Except that we have noticed that when you get together now, you no longer take time to ask how each of you are really and truly doing. You are much more interested in telling and making sure that everyone hears how well you are doing: the important people you are meeting and working with; the coworkers or supervisors who flatter you with words of how great you are, and the big boss you will be in five or ten years from now. That’s good. But who promised you that in five or ten years, you will be here?”
The gasp came from young and elders. This was too blunt.
“Am I lying?”
“No, an elder replied. But we do hope they live long healthy lives.”
“I hope so too,” Grandpa Umar said, undeterred by his siblings’ uneasiness and annoyance.
“We all hope and pray that each of you have a long, healthy and fulfilling life. But to my knowledge Daba, the Creator, made this promise to no one.
“And so, as we listened to you, we saw that you are more and interested in this new life. And it is normal. All new things are exciting in the beginning. This is no different. But we just want to make sure that you do not get absorbed so much in this new world, that you forget about Your Own Personal World.
“What personal world? Work is the Real World, one of us blurted.”
Grandma Fanta cut in:
“I have never seen a generation like yours: so stubborn! How many times have we told you not to interrupt us when we are talking?”
We looked at each other’s frustrated. We were young adults in our twenties and working. We shouldn’t be treated like children. And none of them complained when we bought them gifts or gave them some money! What world was that?
Grandpa Umar continued:
“You are not wrong. Your workplace, and the people you interact with are part of your world. But don’t let them take over your head and become the only voices you can hear. Remember, fate is an unfavorable wind for those who do not know where they are going. You will have challenges, you will cross path with conflicts, crisis, disappointment, anger, and injustice. You need to know and understand who you are and what you are about to stay loyal to your values, so you do not get lost in the turmoil of your times.
“I shouldn’t be the only one talking. Who wants to add to what I have said to these young people?”
Our soft-spoken Grandpa Salif decided to add his thoughts:
“The world has never been a happy place for all its people. Still, regardless of its state, we all have the obligation to live in peace with ourselves. Young people, whatever you decide that you want to do, or be, make sure that you do it while being at peace inside of you. That’s all I wanted to say.”
Grandpa Umar waited a moment for someone else to talk. Then:
“I know you did not understand what I’m talking about. But one day you will. Our work as your elders is not to always tell you things that you can make sense of right away, no. The seeds we planted in you tonight with our words, you will harvest them only after certain years of experience.”
He smiled:
“Most of us will no longer be here…”
“Ah, Umar, stop talking about death. What’s the matter with you? I’m not going anywhere. I’ll have no teeth, and no hair. I don’t care. You my grandchildren will take care of me. I’ll still be here.”
Everyone laughed. Then with love we all said:
“Yes, we will take care of you Grandma Sata.”
“I know. So, Umar if you want to go, go and leave the rest of us alone. Tchrrrr!”
“Just remember this, Grandma Sata concluded, no matter who you choose to be, make sure you remain real people who have learned to know and live in agreement with all the different parts of their beings. Watching us, you know that it is possible to live in peace with others while remaining true to who you are.
This was not a bad evening after all even though none of us fully grasped the true meaning of what Grandpa Umar and the elders said. But as always, Lalla put it in perspective for me.
What Would Lalla Say
My Lalla
“Anna, as your elders, we are the link that connects the past to the future. You and your contemporaries are our future. We have to pass on to you, the way our elders taught us, the knowledge they had acquired in their times, along with what we have learned to know during ours. One day, you and all the people of your generation will be the elders that will do for the next what we have done for you.
Dear reader, thank you for your time. And until we come together again, be kind to yourself, and do not let the noises of the world make you doubt the voice inside your gut.